3/23/2010

So.. whats up with these numbers?

Is this blog realy that popular?

Since the last time I was signed in, the blog claimes to have had over 20000 visitors, but those numbers cant be right, can they? Cause if they are, you all should leave a comment once in a while, cause thats a lot of people!

There isn't that much more to tell you guys, to be honnest. Nothing thrilling going on in my life at the moment. No new loves, no new parties, only school, sex and the city, and pop corn. Easter is just around the corner though, and then its time to go home to mom and dad. And the new little dog. Yay!

But i just need to tell you guys something! A friend of mine, Michael. He and I went to the same high school, majoring in music, and singing, anyways. He, and his band, has gotten signed by a label! How cool is that? I have to admitt, I wish it could be me, but I'm glad for him.

If you want to check it out, they're on myspace, their band is named Yellow Waste.

See you guys later!

1/30/2010

Guest blogger - Espiegle

Hi ya'll! I've gotten my good friend, Espiegle to write a blog post about how it was growing up, and finding her way in life. She's one of my best friends, and we mett online. But we are bestest friends now.
 Enjoy her blog post!


When I was a kid, I absolutely hated to play with dolls. Instead, I played with knives and I climbed in trees. I stole firecrackers and lit them in front of my brother when I was four, and I learnt how to ride a motorcycle when I was eleven years old. I constantly got into fights, and I was more interested in the cars my dad repaired than playing house with my friends. Yet, my mother was extremely surprised when I told her that I'm a lesbian.

I don't know exactly how or when I understood that I only like girls. I suppose it started quite early; I've had a soft spot for Alanis Morissette for as long as I can remember. I can remember seeing the clip to "Ironic" at an early age, and I found her the sweetest woman in the world. However, it didn't become apparent to me before I saw "The Lord of the Rings" in the cinema when I was eleven. I stared plastering my walls with Liv Tyler. Sometimes in her underwear, sometimes with her pointed elven ears and the pale complexion of Arwen Undomiel.
My first real crush came when I was about 14 years old. There was a girl in my class that didn't have all that many friends. My best friend decided that we should try to get to know her a bit better. Even though the school was quite far away from my house, we didn't have any bus that could take us there. In stead, we used to take our bikes. Every day we stopped by the house of that girl, waiting for her to come out and join us.
What started out as something done out of pity, soon turned into love. At least for my part. As far as I know, she has never returned my feelings. I've watched her turn into a wonderful woman over the years. She's the best female friend I've ever had. Because of our studies, we don't see each other all that much anymore, but I still love her.
Okay... It isn't all about stupid crushes on celebrities and unrequited love. I have been with a few girls over the years. Some that were very sweet, some that smelled strange, some that only wanted me for a night. But I still love her, that one, beautiful, intelligent and interesting girl that I got to know when I was fourteen. I hope she doesn't know. I don't want to risk our friendship. I'd rather have her and take care of her as a friend than to not have her in my life at all. She's not homophobic at all, but it would be too awkward for her. At least I think it would be. I'm not brave enough to take the chance.

I've grown up in a rather homophobic family. Thus, I wouldn't quite accept that I liked girls. "I can't be a f***** dyke! That's impossible!" I thought to myself. I suppose I felt some kind of shame, and I didn't feel comfortable with the fact that I actually was a bit out of the "ordinary" (I won't begin to discuss what's ordinary or normal. I won't.), just like next to everybody at school claimed. I had enough problems there, as it was. I had good grades, different interests and clothes, and most people hated med for it. Or at least; that's what I was lead to believe. During this time, I event spent a lot of time with boys, trying to find a boyfriend that I could actually develop some feelings for. The short of it: It didn't work.

When I begun high-school, I started slowly making my way out of the closet. I had a lot of good friends (gay and straight) that supported me, and I didn't feel ashamed in the least, anymore. I studied away from my family, and I didn't hear stupid jokes about "arse bandits" and plumbers anymore.

I often hear that the quality of ones life greatly increases after having come out of the closet. This is not the way I see it. I feel more comfortable not having hide who I am with, but I'm still the same person. My life is still the same. Everybody can see the fire in my eyes at new year's eve when I get to light firecrackers (and maybe smuggle some away for later use...), and I still discuss cars with my dad.

1/19/2010

Sorry!

Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for not blogging lately. There has been so much on my mind! My grandfather died the first of January, and thats one of the reasons. The other one is school. Don't even get me started at the subject. I'm so sick of life right now, cause it feels like whenever something good happens, something bad is just around the corner.

There will be more bloging from me later, just you all hold on.

And once again, I'm sorry for not bloging!

12/15/2009

Gay bar!

Yeah. At friday I was at my first gay bar, Elsker in Oslo. It was a new kind of experience. We arrived quite early in the evening, so there were really few people there. And Elsker is kind of most known as a shack where lesbians hang out. I went with my best friend, and her date. It was ok. Not that cool really. But, again, it was because of our way to early arival. Had we been older, we could have stayed longer.

Hope you all are doing fine!

12/04/2009

Regine Stokke

Yesterday, an Idol of mine past away. Her name was Regine Stokke, and she was extremely ill, and has been for a while. She passed away only 18 years old.

She was, and still are, an inspiration to me. The way she stood up, and fought like a hero, truly amazing. I don’t really know if I could do the same in her place. Then again, she has helped me realize how lucky I am, for being well, having a big, loving family and a lot of wonderful friends whom support me no matter what.

The way she has inspired the whole blogging community in Norway, is truly amazing.  The way Regine, and her friends raised over 300.000 norwegian kroners to support a organisation fighting cancer, is amazing. And she managed to do it, while fighting of one of our worlds most aggresive deseases.

I hope her stay in heaven will be a pleasant one. Rest in peace, you truly amazing girl. You will be remembered, missed and praised.

12/01/2009

Hi Everyone!

It’s nice to see that so many people are visiting my blog, but why not leave a comment, a question or just a sign of greeting?

There isn’t much to tell you right now, other than the fact that I’m kind of in love with this guy I met online about a year ago. He’s from far away though, and the distance is killing me. I’d so love to just curl up in his arms every night, and I just know I’ll feel so safe in his arms. I don’t really know why though.

He is a couple of years older than me, and that’s kind of nice, cause I like them a little older. He has this wonderful smile, a fucking amazing personality and Oh My God, his eyes. Don’t even get me started on his eyes. They’re just magical. I think he could melt pure gold with them if he wanted to.


Victor, the swedish hottie.

Anyways. I need to tell you all just how my life is right about now. I’m in the middle of Christmas finals, and not looking forward till tomorrow. We have a Norwegian-pedagogical exam about literature and identity. I think I’m going to fail. I IZ FAIL. But if I do fail, I think I’ll move back home to mom and dad, and try to find myself a job, and then go on with a Gap Year, at a folkehøgskole. I want to become a singer. That’s my biggest dream at the moment. And not to forget, to get to perform alongside Maria Mena at one of her concerts. That would be freaking awesome.


Well.. I need to hit the books one more time. Love you all for reading my blog! And I promise I’ll blog more frequently from now on! (Or at least I’ll try to!)

10/30/2009

Things.

Yeah, so... I'm back again for another post.

I left my story of with telling my brother about me being gay over texts. He was on his way back home, from Oslo, to moms and dads. When he came back home, he told me he wantet to talk about the text, but he didn't have the time at the moment, so he we had to talk a couple of days later.

When we spoke again, he asked me if this was something I was sure about. "Yes, I am! I've known for quite a while, I've just never felt ready to tell anyone yett, but now I am, I guess." Then he asked me if I'd ever had a boyfriend, if I've ever had sex and so on. "I've never had a boyfriend, and I've had sex a couple of times, once with a girl, and once with a guy." Then I asked him if he'd ever done anything with a guy. He got really embaressed, and blushed from head to toe. "I haven't," he told me, "and I've never felt the need either." After that we've never really spoken about it again, and to be honnest, thats really ok.